[Current Golf Sheet]2018 FINAL STANDINGS

[2018 Weekly Scores]


*Each of these guys pockets $40 back from their $25 investment

Front Side Winners: Team #1 scored 18 holes each either Metamora or Flushing Valley CC
Back Side Winners: Team #6 scored 18 holes each either Metamora or Flushing Valley CC
OVERALL WINNERS: TEAM # 6 was given a hundie
Best skin on the front worth another hundie was TEAM 6. Best skin on the back worth another hundie was TEAM 2

Team Photos: (follow the link)
TEAM 1: Scott Gregory, Tim Kachelski, Paul Oginski, Bill Cape (out in 31, in in 34 = -7/65)
TEAM 2: Jamie Leece, Tom Boyd, Dave Lawless, Kenny Hochstein (out in 36, in in 34 = -2/70)
TEAM 3: Kevin Stutzman, Dave Furey, Mike Bloomfield, Rick Carlson (out in 34, in in 34 = -4/68)
TEAM 4: Mike Romanowski, Chris Johns, Ron Harmon, Jim Kulha (out in 32, in in 32 = -8/64)
TEAM 5: DJ Hochstein, Tom Harrison, Jason Wolfenden, Johnny Martin (out in 35, in in 33 = -4/68)
TEAM 6: Herb Green, Steve Markunas, Jason Carrier, Jerry Carlson (out in 32, in in 30 = -10/62
TEAM 6: Dave Wolfenden, Steve Peltier, Matt Murany, Rick Bailey (out in 35, in in 35 = -2/70


FINAL WEEK UPDATE: August 30, 2018 (Posted: September 1)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Jim aka "14" Kulha "40"
Low Net: Jim aka "14" Kulha "26" (Im surprised the net score was not a negative number…he was ON FIRE
Greenies 1: Matt Murany
Greenies 2: Dave Wolfenden - congrats guys. it looks like the last greenies of the year were the 1st of the season for each of you??? I didn't get one…nice job
Team Skin: 3 week carry over. the pot was broken on the second draw -the 1st hole drawn was #6 and was cut twice. the next hole was par 3 #4 - Jerry "DaBlade" Carlson and Rick "The Rick" Bailey each parred it - then they each took a stroke for handicap and took home the $150 with a net "4"
5-Hole: Bill Cape... routine routine
Jamies Scratch Skins: $60 for Herb Green with the sole skin

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, August 30, 2018:
DAVE LAWLESS fails to escape the season without an AOTD awarded as he both lost his wallet pre round in the clubhouse around 4:30 or so, failed to notice throughout his round looking surprised to learn of it when he strolled in post round around 9pm or so…then acted similarly surprised that he had never told anyone on the league his real true and legal name such that when the helpful Majestic staff came out asking: "Anyone named Norman on your league?" we said no not us……..Norman…paging Mr. Norman……Norman your wallet sir?????


Paging Norman?
"Anyone named Norman on your league?"

2018 SNAPPERS CHAMPS: and for the 2nd year in a row…congratulations to Dave Fury and Mike Romanowski who were (sounding eerily like all of our past multiple year winners) heard to retort ……WE WOULD HAVE WON MORE THAN TWICE BY NOW BUT WE ONLY BEEN IN THE LEAGUE TWO YEARS!!!!! OK PEEPS: YEAR END OUTING SUNDAY SEPTEMBER - 2018 LYON OAKS - check in 8:30 - 9:00 am tee off 9:20 am - Full rules and info at the link at top of the page.


WEEK 16 UPDATE: August 23, 2018 (Posted: August 30)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Dave Fury "39"
Low Net: Dave Fury "32"
Greenies 1: Dave Fury
Greenies 2: Herb Green
Team Skin: carry over. the pot will be broken this last week by 1st drawing another hole as needed. if not broken after all 9 counted then eliminate as with 5 hole from last hole drawn those tied.
5-Hole: Paul Oginsky
Jamies Scratch Skins: $23 each for Herb Green, Larry Cooper and Mike Romanowski
AOTD: none this week


DO NOT FORGET THE YEAR END OUTING SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 2018 8:30 am LYON OAKS…….I am counting on everyone but Cooper being there (he is golfing with his wife instead that day)…..DJ HOCHSTEIN is in for him….

IN MEMORIUM: FORMER SNAPPER LEAGUE MEMBER & SNAPPER FOR LIFE (once a Snapper always a Snapper) PETER DIESEL circa 1991 ish. passed away this week after a tough battle with the Big C. R.I.P. my friend.


WEEK 15 UPDATE: August 16, 2018 (Posted: August 22)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Larry Cooper, Dave Wolfenden & Jamie Leece "41"
Low Net: Dave Wolfenden "33"
Greenies 1: Scott Gegory
Greenies 2: Jason Wolfenden
Team Skin: push carry
5-Hole: Jamie Leece... Jamie seems to lead the Sudoko quest challenge with his 5 hole….or is it Soduku??? Or Sodoku?
Jamies Scratch Skins: There were three of them this night @ $27.50 each Jamie got one and Scott took 2…. for $55
AOTD: none this week

TIGHT AT THE TOP???? Oh yea our top 3 no separated by 6 points and another 4 teams are within 20 or so…

Say hello to Katie. I don't know how many hours and hours of grueling training in the beer cart simulator it takes before a new beer cart babe is ready to be released into the wild - but I do know that Katie executed her beer delivery duties flawlessly on such a hot and muggy night. Her smile even seems genuine when posing with the silver haired mansplaining misogynist "The Rick". Congratulations Katie!

A Liar and a Cheater Lee and Gary head out to the golf course for a quick nine holes. On the first tee, Lee turns to Gary and says, "What do you say we make this time worth something. Play you for $5?" Gary agrees, and they start their rounds. It's a great game, and the two lifelong friends reach the No. 9 tee box with Gary ahead by one stroke. After Lee hits a great drive, right down the middle, Gary steps up and promptly hooks a ball into deep rough and trees. "C'mon," Gary says to Lee, "help me find my ball. I'll look in this patch of trees, and you look around over there."

They look and look and look, but no ball can be found. The five-minute time limit on searching for lost balls is about to run out. Gary gets desperate. He gives a quick glance over to Lee to see if he is looking, then swiftly reaches into his pocket and drops a new ball into the rough. "Found my ball!" Gary shouts out triumphantly.

Lee looks at his friend with great disappointment. "After all the years we've been friends," Lee says, "you'd cheat me at golf for a measly five bucks?""What do you mean cheat?" Gary asks indignantly. "I found my ball sitting right here!" Lee lets out a heavy sigh. "And you'd lie to me, too? All for a tiny little sum of money? You'd cheat me and lie to me, for what? For five bucks? I can't believe you'd stoop so low."

"Well what makes you so sure I'm cheating and lying, anyway?" Gary asks.

"Because," Lee replies, "I've been standing on your ball for the last five minutes!"


WEEK 14 UPDATE: August 9, 2018 (Posted: August 14)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Chris Johns "38"
Low Net: Chris Johns "29"
Greenies 1: Kevin Stutzman
Greenies 2: Dave Murany
Team Skin: OMG 4 weeks in a row now Steve Shang Peltier claims a piece of the pie…He and OGI split a hundie for low blind draw team skins pot for hole #2 thanks to OGI's birdie
5-Hole: Dave Murany
Jamies Scratch Skins: quite a few birdies cut each other but Mike Romanowski hit one by himself for $65
AOTD: none this week


Special Rule 5a, a/k/a the "Cowan/Peltier Revision": Each team (hereinafter referred to as OFFENDING TEAM) may choose, without suffering a complete forfeit of the match, no more often then once per golf season, and not on any position round week (position round caveat striken from rule by 2 out of 3 Carlsons on 6/15/2011), to refuse to show up at all for a scheduled match with an opponent, hereinafter referred to as OFFENDED TEAM , but instead to each send a substitute player in their place, which sub or subs may, but need not know anyone on the league, may, but need not be of equal or similar ability to the regular members of OFFENDING TEAM, the OFFENDED TEAM (or other Snappers for that matter), may but need not have established or partially established handicaps on the league. The "hole by hole" scoring will be accepted into the running point total in our standings for the OFFENDING TEAM but the 4 match points are forfeited as in rule 8. OFFENDED TEAM may but need not insist in a subsequent week upon adequate compensation in the form of one can of beer each from OFFENDING TEAM for their trouble. Should no regular team member and only one sub show up for a match, or should an OFFENDING TEAM choose to blow us off with two subs more than the once per season Cowan and Peltier do, no points are awarded ; that would be a different rule we are not passing right now.

And now comes the defense...

The status of Naked Dave of course is crucial to this determination. Is he a sub also since his name is not presently on the sheet? NO HE IS NOT. The Frankenstein portion of team Carlson/Frankenstein is comprised of the following 4 individuals preselected prior to week one (there is a schedule naming them for any wishing to see) Naked Dave, Brian Babcock, CMoney and Tony T… Due to a supposed excel sheet formatting problem all four are not named at one time.. While a new rule could be written by proclamation of my brutha and me (see the following found in paragraph 1 of the rules posted on the website .".. As always, it only takes 2 out of 3 Carlson's to arbitrarily add, subtract, or ignore rules as we go.") I propose that while special rule 6a 2011 Darren Bentley Exclusion sets the minimum team member number at 1, no rule precludes an unlimited number of partners and/or team members as a maximum. Naked Dave was team member. No Cowan/Peltier Rule applied. Thank you Shang for requiring this clarification.

(Editor's Query: Timmy K may like to know if there is a rule capping the maximum number of partners over one's entire Snappers Golf League career, and whether it is higher or lower than, say "14"?)...
2018 Mike Bloomfield
2012-2017 Bob Baumann
2008-2011 Mark Blevins
2007 Larry Lambaria
2004-2006 Jason Wolfenden
2003 Chris Carlson
2001-2002 Tony Do
1995-2000 Dave Wolfenden
1994 Dave Markunas
1993 Steve Markunas
1992 Todd Johnson
1991 Dave Wolfenden
1990 ?
1988-1989 Steve Markunas


August Lush (UPDATED)
WEEK 13 UPDATE: August 2, 2018 (UPDATED: August 9)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Rey Farah "34"... Can that be right??
Low Net: Jerry Carlson & Steve Gregory each with "32" (note: Rey Farah's net score was or should have been 35, 1 higher than his actual score, more on that later)
Greenies 1: Gentleman' Jim Kuhla
Greenies 2: Rey Farah
Team Skin: Carry over
5-Hole: Jim Kuhla
Jamies Scratch Skins: 3 skins total worth $23 ea: Rey for 2 and Steve Gregory the other
AOTD: none this week

Kudos 1st to Jamie & Herb and anyone who helped them with the paperwork and math last week so I could slack off. THANK YOU!!

Net: Sub REY FARAH shot -2 34???? WOW…for the 2nd time now in league history and 2nd time in as many years we have had a sub come in and do that to us….thank you for being my sub REY!!!! …however, by official proclamation of me we cannot let you get away with that "0" handicap calculated on the card….80% of -2 with no rounding is -1….you have to give one stroke back to the league and more importantly your opponents for embarrassing us like that….actual + 34….net score = 35, looking at the hole by hole scores on the card your opponents getting a stroke on the #1 hndcp hole as a result makes no difference…you still smoked em…but the total net scores now end up in a tie and the 4 match points split 2 and 2…..Such is the lament of the good golfer…NICE GAME REY….

JOKE OF THE DAY: Four old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf……The pro asked, "Did you guys have a good game today?"..The first old guy said, "Yes, I had three riders today."…..The second old guy said, "I had the most riders ever. I had five."…The third old guy said, "I had seven riders, the same as last time."…..The last old man said, "I beat my old record. I had 12 riders today."….After they went into the locker room, another golfer who had heard the old guys talking about their game went to the pro and said, "I've been playing golf for a long time and thought I knew all the terminology of the game, but what's a rider?" The pro said, "A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to actually get in the golf cart and ride to it."

The married couple
As a couple approaches the altar, the groom tells his wife-to-be, “Honey, I’ve got something to confess: I’m a golf nut, and every chance I get, I’ll be playing golf!”

“Since we’re being honest,” replies the bride, “I have to tell you that I’m a hooker.”

The groom replies, “That’s okay, honey. You just need to learn to keep your head down and your left arm straight.”

Is this your woman?


WEEK 12 UPDATE: July 26, 2018 (POSTED: August 2)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Larry Cooper "38"
Low Net: Larry Cooper & Timmy K each with "34"
Greenies 1: Nobody hit the green???
Greenies 2: Pay Jamie Leece Double
Team Skin: Hole # 15 was drawn and it was a biggie..$150 to Team Murany/Boyd
5-Hole: Steve Peltier
Jamies Scratch Skins: Larry Cooper & Kevin Stutzman each pocketed $55
AOTD: none this week

The Honest Golfer (contributed by Rick "the Rick" Bailey):

An older golfer was hitting his ball from near a water hazard and his club fell into the water. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying? The golfer replied that his club had fallen into the water and he needed the club to have a chance to win the tournament and supplement his meager pension. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden club. "Is this your club?" the Lord asked. The golfer replied, "No. The Lord again went down and came up with a silver club. "Is this your club?" the Lord asked. Again, the golfer replied, "No. The Lord went down again and came up with an iron club. "Is this your club?" the Lord asked. The golfer replied, "Yes. " The Lord was pleased with the golfer's honesty and gave him all three clubs to keep, and the golfer went home happy.

Sometime later, the golfer was walking with his wife along the water hazard, and she fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my woman has fallen into the water! The Lord went down into the water and came up with Kate Upton. "Is this your woman?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the golfer. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The golfer replied, "Oh, forgive me Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'No' to Kate Upton, you would have come up with Jennifer Anniston. Then if I said 'No' to her, you would have come up with my woman. Had I then said 'Yes,' you would have given me all three. And Lord, I am not able to take care of all three women in a way that they deserve. That's why I said 'Yes' to Kate Upton. And God was pleased.

The moral of this story is: If a golfer ever tells a lie, it is for a good and honorable reason, and only out of consideration for others.


"Which Three Dog Night Song was written For the total number of pars on the Carlson/Kulha Hochstein card?"
WEEK 11 UPDATE: July 19, 2018 (POSTED: July 25)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Dave Fury & Larry Cooper "40"
Low Net: Johnny Martin with "33"
Greenies 1: Steve Peltier
Greenies 2: Nick no last name sub
Team Skin: Hole # 2 was drawn and resulted in a three team carry over. thanks guys
5-Hole: Matt Murany
Jamies Scratch Skins: I have no idea

AOTD: none this week. However honorable mention to Tom Boyd from the week before previously unacknowledged. Tom's partner Matt Murany stiffed him at the last minute causing him to have to play by himself. Not wanting to make a mistake in scoring he asked yours truly what he was supposed to do and was told to double his score double his handicap. Oh the look on his face when he turned his score card in and I asked: "what did you shoot with the 2nd ball?. You were supposed to play 2 balls one for yourself and one for Matt just like I told you. There is only one score here?? He looked like he was about to buy it for about 10 seconds before realizing he was being jobbed.

Congrats to dave Fury low actual 2 weeks in a row. Also congrats to Steve Peltier a greenie winner 2 weeks in a row. speaking of "2" congrats to Team Wolf for winning 2 points 2 weeks in a row. (NOTE: This is under review)

Also speaking of 2 that was twice the number of pars scored on the entire score card of Carlson Carlson Kula Hochstein. OUCH!

So how did position round 2 turn out… 1st of all the correct total points scored and handicap issues were resolved after the fact by yours truly. It turns out that only 2 minor changes were necessary to handicaps and position round opponents were precisely what they should have been. Now that all of the points earned by each team for the entire year are properly reflected on the current sheet (HONEST THEY ARE). note that it turned out to be a BRUTAL Position Round with the underdog taking care of business and moving up in the standings over their opponents in every single match with the exception of Team Stutzman and Team Murany who each held serve so to speak and thwarted their attackers. Nice job boys!


WEEK 10 UPDATE: July 12, 2018 (POSTED: July 19)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Dave Fury "39"
Low Net: Ron Harmon with "31"
Greenies 1: Steve Peltier
Greenies 2: Larry Cooper
Team Skin: Hole # 17 drawn and resulted in a two team carry over… thanks guys
5-Hole: Kevin Stutzman
Jamies Scratch Skins: Ron Harmon (#20) Herb Green (#22) Kevin Stutzman (#25) and Scott Gregory (#27)

Nice Birdie Ron Harmon

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, July 12, 2018:
SCOTT GREGORY won for GROSS MISFEASANCE NON-BECOMING A SNAPPER. So we had a little situation last week with the O'guinn league ahead of us shooting .22 caliber firearm(s) at something…maybe us... maybe not... we don't know but the group behind him (our 1st off) did a little Lt. Columbo routine. investigated and found hard evidence in the form of empty shell casings at the presumed scene of the crime. Recognizing that yours truly being the head of the league, I should be the one to report this and handed me the shell casings. A Ranger happened along and upon arrival was greeted with the shell casings and the allegations to take while summoning Majestic Steve. Before leaving Scott determined to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth: "and another thing".. he blurted.. "they left THIS on the next tee box" and promptly forfeited a nearly full bottle of FIREBALL cinnamon whiskey.. I repeat he voluntarily offered up apparently good whiskey to confiscation by the course!!! Very unbecoming a Snapper.. Timmy K was a close runner up as the Ranger who apparently realized SCOTT's faux pas, quietly returned the FIREBALL to us. at this point it was noted that the cap had been removed together with at least one slug of the nectar. while it may have been the Ranger's compromise. nobody wanted to risk consuming possibly contaminated, poisoned or boobytrapped whiskey apparently originating from somebody who may have been shooting at us just prior to : salting the teebox", nobody except Timmy that is... Honorable mention also goes to Recycler Rick (Baily) who upon gathering his clubs from his trunk realized he had a gross or 2 of empty water bottles in there he had been meaning to clean out... cleaned them out into a nearby golf cart.


Congratulations, Grand Pa Pa C and Uncle C-Money!
WEEK 9 UPDATE: June 28, 2018 (POSTED: July 1)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Herb Green "38"
Low Net: Herb Green & Mike Romanowski "35"
Greenies 1: Herb Green
Greenies 2: Jamie Leece
Team Skin: Tim Kachelski & Mike Bloomfield
5-Hole: Tom Harrison
Jamies Scratch Skins: "Gregory and Tommy" pocketed $35 each.


ManBag Orphaned!? Oh, the ambivalence!
WEEK 8 UPDATE: June 21, 2018 (POSTED: June 28)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Nick Hartley "36"... yes I know he was a sub but No Golf Ball for you Herb Green and your "38"
Low Net: Steve Peltier with "31"
Greenies 1: Rick Bailey
Greenies 2: Scott Gregory
Team Skin: Weekly Blind Draw Skins Pot - The 5 hole was drawn again, but it was not cut this time... Jamie Leece & Herb Green won it with a a threefer... $150 . nice..
5-Hole: Ron Harmon
Jamies Scratch Skins: Herb Green (#5)…..Nick Hartley (#2) and …Scott Gregory (#9) each took a share of the cash

Oh and CONGRATULATIONS BLOOMIE for joining the Birdie Club.

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, June 21, 2018:
JERRY CARLSON won for total ambivalence to the league's after meeting at a time when he was oh so needed most….. It was after all, as everyone on the league knew when Rick & Chris who were scheduled to go off last jumped the line to go 2nd right after Wolf & Steve so they could all finish first and head out on their drive up north for the annual Duffers Tournament, going to be a post round meeting handled by the crew without direction….Oh Jerry will say: "But Rick never told me I needed to get the manbag being the only person to be in a position to conveniently see him for score recordation"….true or not that argument sounds much like ("I can't think for myself")…anyway all would have been fine if Jerry & the Rick neither with a pre excused absence had come to the meeting….if not for the sole purpose of collecting the manbag then perhaps to collect the greenie winnings at which time the manbag thing would simply work itself out….But they inexplicably left ….no good bye…no excuse…no cell phone in his pocket to be called to return before getting too far away…AMBIVALENCE!!!! I say….(well not me exactly as I was gone already…Jamie riled the troops against you)….. congrats on the golf ball…..



WEEK 7 UPDATE: June 14, 2018 (POSTED: June 20)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Herb Green "38"
Low Net: Herb Green, Kevin Stutzman & Rick Carlson all with "32"
Greenies 1: Larry Cooper
Greenies 2: Larry Cooper
Team Skin: Weekly Blind Draw Skins Pot. the 5 hole #23 was cut twice with sixes (side note: yours truly forgot to protect against the dreaded 3 putt from 12 feet while trying for the birdie when all the team needed was a 2 putt par for $130. OUCH.
5-Hole: DJ Hochstein
Jamies Scratch Skins: all 5 birdies got a taste. Herb Green with 2 and 1 each for DJ Hochstein, Kevin Stutzman and Ron Harmon all putting up their 1st bird of the year.

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, June 14, 2018:
It was determined by a handful of Snappers who gave a shit that I in fact did win AOTD for the previous week's Black Squirrels matter fiasco….I was said to have won posthumously…But I didn't die…only the squirrel did!!!!

This week brutha Jerry Carlson and partner Rick Bailey (neither a newbie to the league) won a shared AOTD for failure to recognize our league…they are said to have arrived almost precisely on time to the # 19 tee we were in fact scheduled on and in fact did play, only to look at each other and exclaim in unison, "This isn't our league", which agreement caused the cart driver to turn abruptly around and go directly to the # 1 tee which we were not scheduled on and did not in fact play and then to sit there for what was estimated 15 or 20 minutes before the starter finally looked at them and said.." you are not supposed to be here"…..ASSHOLES……..

1st Runner Up was Mike Bloomie Bloomfield who arrived for golf without golf shoes per se…and in fact turned his admittedly somewhat stylish spit shined black leather Italian style no lace loafers (black dress socks above his ankles of course) into golf shoes for the night….oh and he did have shorts on…slippery little fuckers those dress shoes huh????

MAJESTIC BEER GIRL OF THE WEEK - (and Photo Comic Caption Contest rolled into one!) -
Say hi to Maddie (I think). It might have been Magpie... or Moonbeam. I'm pretty sure her stage name starts with the letter 'M'. It was a week ago and I didn't write it down. In any case, this week's entry is courtesy of Team 9, Scott Gregory and Jason Carrier. They zeroed on to this scene like the Hubble telescope with shutter speed set to max power. If you have a caption you would like to share, use the "SAY IT, DON'T SPRAY IT!" comment box on the right top side margin (100 character limit) CONGRATULATIONS Maddie!


WEEK 6 UPDATE: June 7, 2018 (POSTED: June 14)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Jamie Leece "42"
Low Net: Chris Johns, Timmy Kachelski & Tom Boyd all with "36"
Greenies 1: Tony Tomacewski
Greenies 2: Larry Cooper
Team Skin: Weekly Blind Draw Skins Pot carried over $100 to start this week. Jason Carrier and partner got the draw they were looking for with a par 3 they both parred both got dings and netted a best "4" to claim the $150
5-Hole: 1st time substitute with no hndcp until it was over Art Kadlitz
Jamies Scratch Skins: ? not reported

AOTD Winner: none deserving, none awarded - Yours truly barely escaped nomination twice…1st for preparing a detailed weekly partner list for his Frankenstein team disseminating it so there would be no misunderstandings, and then inviting both Chris Carlson and Tony Tomacewski to partner with him. Quick thinking saved the day. I just feigned injury and said one of them had to sub for me while I rode around on a cart pretending I could see well enough to be a "ball spotter". I think was successful in directing participants to their balls off the tee about 26% of the time. Secondly, I was involved in an apparently vicious accident on the cart path when 2 squirrels ran in front of me (1 brown 1 black). They apparently both made it safely across but then one turned back. Had it been the brown one, I was free from criticism. But alas it was the black one. I screamed "stop stay where you are!" but was ignored as black squirrels have a propensity to do. He died and I had to answer questions from opponents as to why I let the other squirrel live. My only defense - I get it... All Squirrels Matter. The only reason I was not nominated Asshole for this is my Millenial Son asked me please not to write it up this way if he nominated me. I said it is what it is. He did not nominate me but I never said I would not write it up as it happened if he didn't. Morale: Be very careful negotiating with an intoxicated lawyer. (WEBMASTER's NOTE: Considered yourself nominated "post round posthumous". Show of hands?

Snappers North 2018:(this not included in your dues).everyone on the league is invited with preference to those who attended last year ….I reserved 32 this year (last year we had 28) …. and emails went out…if you did not get the email invite see me…….

First, meet Kaygan (if that IS her real name. I wonder if any fellas have ever pointed out the fact that her name backwards spells NAG YAK (the perfect woman?). In any case we're not just nagging when we yak, CONGRATULATIONS KAYGAN!

BABE OF THE WEEK 2 (who was actually the first draft pick of the night, but hey! who's baking the donuts here?) Say hello to Sophia. Unlike Kaygan, Sophia's name backwards does not appear to be a descriptor. Or does it? A paranoid (or hopeful)person might think the letters of her name spelled backwards are an acronym for the brave new world we live in. SOPHIA backwards = Artificial Intelligence Hewlitt Packard Operating System. ROBOT BEER GIRLS!? CONGRATULATIONS SOPHIA. Even if you are just a robot.


But seriously, folks. Slow play is no joke (or is it?) Be careful out there -- and play faster - and watch your back
WEEK 5 UPDATE: May 31, 2018 (POSTED: June 6)

Okay Boys week 3 is in the books, and with it - partner #3 for Snapper (WEBMASTER's NOTE: If'n ya did something special on week 1, it will just have to be enough that you know you did it cuz it ain't here my friend, so quit squinting)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Larry Cooper and Scott Schultze each carded a cool "40"
Low Net: Tommy Boyd with "31"
Greenies 1: Tommy "the Knocker" Harrison
Greenies 2: Nick "the Beast" Savage
Team Skin: Weekly Blind Draw Skins Pot carried over $100 to start this week. Jason Carrier and partner got the draw they were looking for with a par 3 they both parred both got dings and netted a best "4" to claim the $150
5-Hole: Rick "the Rick" Bailey
Jamies Scratch Skins: There were 0. Not 0 birdies - 0 skins. They were all cut by you "dog eat dog" bastards
AOTD Winner: none deserving, none awarded

Year End Outing -(this is included in your dues) Sunday, September 9, 2018. Talking about Hawk Hollow in East Lansing.
Snappers North 2018 -(this not included in your dues) Everyone on the league is invited with preference to those who attended last year. I reserved 32 this year (last year we had 28). and emails went out... if you did not get the email invite, see me.

Be on the lookout for exemplary service for potential Majestic Beer Babe of the week nominations…feel free to take a name and a photo of a BBOW candidate and 1 or more members of your foursome and get it to me for publication in our newsletter….on our website …and/or on our facebook Snappers Golf League Group page…..

and in real golf news:
Two foursomes were reportedly involved in a golf course brawl that involved weapons and resulted in broken bones. And if you guessed this ugly incident stemmed from slow play, you guessed right. According to Birmingham Live, police responded to the fight on Friday at Greenway Hall Golf Club in Stockton Brook (England), racing onto the course in golf carts to keep things from getting worse. However, a Staffordshire Police spokesperson said "bones had been broken" by the time they got there. Four men were arrested on suspicion of assault, but weren't charged. "I'm very proud of my officers," Chief Inspector John Owen said. "They've used initiative, gone to a fight (as we always do) outnumbered, and have resolved it resulting in peace and order. Hole in one I'd say!"


Finally! Some 2018 Snapper Bites! (what's up with this so-called webmaster?)
WEEK 3 UPDATE: May 17, 2018 (POSTED: May 23)

Okay Boys week 3 is in the books, and with it - partner #3 for Snapper (WEBMASTER's NOTE: If'n ya did something special on week 1, it will just have to be enough that you know you did it cuz it ain't here my friend, so quit squinting)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Jamie Leece "41"
Low Net: Chris Johns netted a "31"
Greenies 1: Mike Romanowski
Greenies 2: Jason Carrier
Team Skin: Weekly Blind Draw Skins Pot carried over $100 to start this week. Jason Carrier and partner got the draw they were looking for with a par 3 they both parred both got dings and netted a best "4" to claim the $150
5-Hole: Bill "Pic Pic" Cape
Jamies Scratch Skins: There were 3 - Mike Romanowski took 2 and Chris Johns the other
AOTD Winner: N/A

Special thanks to Brian Babbers Babcock who came in from Kalamazoo to substitute. Way to go Chris Johns. Nice round.

Inspirational Thought of the Day: Don't Be a Dick. But if you are, please make sure someone sees it so we can get the Asshole of the Day Nominations going.


WEEK 2 UPDATE: May 10, 2018 (POSTED: May 23)

Okay Boys week 2 is in the books, and with it - partner #2 for Snapper (WEBMASTER's NOTE: If'n ya did something special on week 1, STILL NOT HERE)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Larry Cooper "41"
Low Net: Matt Murany and Jason Wolfenden each netted a "34"
Greenies 1: Mike Romanowski
Greenies 2: Chris Johns
Team Skin: Weekly Blind Draw Skins Pot carried over $100 to start this week
5-Hole: Mike Bloomfield
Jamies Scratch Skins: Dave Wolfenden - 65 smackaroonies
AOTD Winner: Got a few nominations but no winner yet. Jamie and Herb were recognized for foregoing the boat ride and driving their cart back to the clubhouse without telling anyone which caused a shortage of carts over on 10 and a boat captain scratching his head about how long he was supposed to wait for us. all of this caused our league to stand out and generate an email from the pro, but they were not the only ones.

Tonight comes SNAPPER LEAGUE DEBUT for BRIAN BABS BABCOCK out of Kalamazoo. Welcome.

And for our 1st Majestic Beer Babe of the week, for all around exemplary SERVICING OF OUR ALCOHOL NEEDS......... I give you KAYGAN!!!!!!!!!!!! (we owe you a repeat photo Kaygan as the flash ruined the original)
(WEBMASTER's NOTE: Actually, no photo availble at all since it was emailed from the course in the form of a text mail to webmaster's wife's phone since I don't have my own and we/she can't figure out how to transfer a text photo from her phone to my email so I can post here.)


Pictured: A leisurely boat ride across Lake Walden on our way back to the clubhouse side dock after the front nine at The Majestic.

May 29, 2004
I sat at a table on the beer deck checking the math on Snapper golf cards (fifty five... fifty six... fifty seven...). Fellow Snappers were swapping traffic violation stories like old sailors rolling up their pant legs and comparing shark wounds. Mister Cowan's partner, Shang, had started the subject earlier when he hired Snapper to help him with a ticket (allegedly for speeding, but Shang claims it was a wrongful citation as he was in a hurry that day). Shang became concerned and wondered aloud if he was still on Snapper's "billing clock." Snapper told Shang not to worry, as he will work for beers. Shang, here is a running legal bill (bar tab) for Snapper's services.
Shang's legal bill (in beer)


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