[Current Golf Sheet]*7/19/2018

[ YTD scores (thru 6/21)]

WEEK 10 UPDATE: July 12, 2018 (POSTED: July 19)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Dave Fury "39"
Low Net: Ron Harmon with "31"
Greenies 1: Steve Peltier
Greenies 2: Larry Cooper
Team Skin: Hole # 17 drawn and resulted in a two team carry over… thanks guys
5-Hole: Kevin Stutzman
Jamies Scratch Skins: Ron Harmon (#20) Herb Green (#22) Kevin Stutzman (#25) and Scott Gregory (#27)

Nice Birdie Ron Harmon

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, July 12, 2018:
SCOTT GREGORY won for GROSS MISFEASANCE NON-BECOMING A SNAPPER. So we had a little situation last week with the O'guinn league ahead of us shooting .22 caliber firearm(s) at something…maybe us... maybe not... we don't know but the group behind him (our 1st off) did a little Lt. Columbo routine. investigated and found hard evidence in the form of empty shell casings at the presumed scene of the crime. Recognizing that yours truly being the head of the league, I should be the one to report this and handed me the shell casings. A Ranger happened along and upon arrival was greeted with the shell casings and the allegations to take while summoning Majestic Steve. Before leaving Scott determined to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth: "and another thing".. he blurted.. "they left THIS on the next tee box" and promptly forfeited a nearly full bottle of FIREBALL cinnamon whiskey.. I repeat he voluntarily offered up apparently good whiskey to confiscation by the course!!! Very unbecoming a Snapper.. Timmy K was a close runner up as the Ranger who apparently realized SCOTT's faux pas, quietly returned the FIREBALL to us. at this point it was noted that the cap had been removed together with at least one slug of the nectar. while it may have been the Ranger's compromise. nobody wanted to risk consuming possibly contaminated, poisoned or boobytrapped whiskey apparently originating from somebody who may have been shooting at us just prior to : salting the teebox", nobody except Timmy that is... Honorable mention also goes to Recycler Rick (Baily) who upon gathering his clubs from his trunk realized he had a gross or 2 of empty water bottles in there he had been meaning to clean out... cleaned them out into a nearby golf cart.


Congratulations, Grand Pa Pa C and Uncle C-Money!
WEEK 9 UPDATE: June 28, 2018 (POSTED: July 1)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Herb Green "38"
Low Net: Herb Green & Mike Romanowski "35"
Greenies 1: Herb Green
Greenies 2: Jamie Leece
Team Skin: Tim Kachelski & Mike Bloomfield
5-Hole: Tom Harrison
Jamies Scratch Skins: "Gregory and Tommy" pocketed $35 each.


ManBag Orphaned!? Oh, the ambivalence!
WEEK 8 UPDATE: June 21, 2018 (POSTED: June 28)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Nick Hartley "36"... yes I know he was a sub but No Golf Ball for you Herb Green and your "38"
Low Net: Steve Peltier with "31"
Greenies 1: Rick Bailey
Greenies 2: Scott Gregory
Team Skin: Weekly Blind Draw Skins Pot - The 5 hole was drawn again, but it was not cut this time... Jamie Leece & Herb Green won it with a a threefer... $150 . nice..
5-Hole: Ron Harmon
Jamies Scratch Skins: Herb Green (#5)…..Nick Hartley (#2) and …Scott Gregory (#9) each took a share of the cash

Oh and CONGRATULATIONS BLOOMIE for joining the Birdie Club.

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, June 21, 2018:
JERRY CARLSON won for total ambivalence to the league's after meeting at a time when he was oh so needed most….. It was after all, as everyone on the league knew when Rick & Chris who were scheduled to go off last jumped the line to go 2nd right after Wolf & Steve so they could all finish first and head out on their drive up north for the annual Duffers Tournament, going to be a post round meeting handled by the crew without direction….Oh Jerry will say: "But Rick never told me I needed to get the manbag being the only person to be in a position to conveniently see him for score recordation"….true or not that argument sounds much like ("I can't think for myself")…anyway all would have been fine if Jerry & the Rick neither with a pre excused absence had come to the meeting….if not for the sole purpose of collecting the manbag then perhaps to collect the greenie winnings at which time the manbag thing would simply work itself out….But they inexplicably left ….no good bye…no excuse…no cell phone in his pocket to be called to return before getting too far away…AMBIVALENCE!!!! I say….(well not me exactly as I was gone already…Jamie riled the troops against you)….. congrats on the golf ball…..



WEEK 7 UPDATE: June 14, 2018 (POSTED: June 20)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Herb Green "38"
Low Net: Herb Green, Kevin Stutzman & Rick Carlson all with "32"
Greenies 1: Larry Cooper
Greenies 2: Larry Cooper
Team Skin: Weekly Blind Draw Skins Pot. the 5 hole #23 was cut twice with sixes (side note: yours truly forgot to protect against the dreaded 3 putt from 12 feet while trying for the birdie when all the team needed was a 2 putt par for $130. OUCH.
5-Hole: DJ Hochstein
Jamies Scratch Skins: all 5 birdies got a taste. Herb Green with 2 and 1 each for DJ Hochstein, Kevin Stutzman and Ron Harmon all putting up their 1st bird of the year.

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, June 14, 2018:
It was determined by a handful of Snappers who gave a shit that I in fact did win AOTD for the previous week's Black Squirrels matter fiasco….I was said to have won posthumously…But I didn't die…only the squirrel did!!!!

This week brutha Jerry Carlson and partner Rick Bailey (neither a newbie to the league) won a shared AOTD for failure to recognize our league…they are said to have arrived almost precisely on time to the # 19 tee we were in fact scheduled on and in fact did play, only to look at each other and exclaim in unison, "This isn't our league", which agreement caused the cart driver to turn abruptly around and go directly to the # 1 tee which we were not scheduled on and did not in fact play and then to sit there for what was estimated 15 or 20 minutes before the starter finally looked at them and said.." you are not supposed to be here"…..ASSHOLES……..

1st Runner Up was Mike Bloomie Bloomfield who arrived for golf without golf shoes per se…and in fact turned his admittedly somewhat stylish spit shined black leather Italian style no lace loafers (black dress socks above his ankles of course) into golf shoes for the night….oh and he did have shorts on…slippery little fuckers those dress shoes huh????

MAJESTIC BEER GIRL OF THE WEEK - (and Photo Comic Caption Contest rolled into one!) -
Say hi to Maddie (I think). It might have been Magpie... or Moonbeam. I'm pretty sure her stage name starts with the letter 'M'. It was a week ago and I didn't write it down. In any case, this week's entry is courtesy of Team 9, Scott Gregory and Jason Carrier. They zeroed on to this scene like the Hubble telescope with shutter speed set to max power. If you have a caption you would like to share, use the "SAY IT, DON'T SPRAY IT!" comment box on the right top side margin (100 character limit) CONGRATULATIONS Maddie!


WEEK 6 UPDATE: June 7, 2018 (POSTED: June 14)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Jamie Leece "42"
Low Net: Chris Johns, Timmy Kachelski & Tom Boyd all with "36"
Greenies 1: Tony Tomacewski
Greenies 2: Larry Cooper
Team Skin: Weekly Blind Draw Skins Pot carried over $100 to start this week. Jason Carrier and partner got the draw they were looking for with a par 3 they both parred both got dings and netted a best "4" to claim the $150
5-Hole: 1st time substitute with no hndcp until it was over Art Kadlitz
Jamies Scratch Skins: ? not reported

AOTD Winner: none deserving, none awarded - Yours truly barely escaped nomination twice…1st for preparing a detailed weekly partner list for his Frankenstein team disseminating it so there would be no misunderstandings, and then inviting both Chris Carlson and Tony Tomacewski to partner with him. Quick thinking saved the day. I just feigned injury and said one of them had to sub for me while I rode around on a cart pretending I could see well enough to be a "ball spotter". I think was successful in directing participants to their balls off the tee about 26% of the time. Secondly, I was involved in an apparently vicious accident on the cart path when 2 squirrels ran in front of me (1 brown 1 black). They apparently both made it safely across but then one turned back. Had it been the brown one, I was free from criticism. But alas it was the black one. I screamed "stop stay where you are!" but was ignored as black squirrels have a propensity to do. He died and I had to answer questions from opponents as to why I let the other squirrel live. My only defense - I get it... All Squirrels Matter. The only reason I was not nominated Asshole for this is my Millenial Son asked me please not to write it up this way if he nominated me. I said it is what it is. He did not nominate me but I never said I would not write it up as it happened if he didn't. Morale: Be very careful negotiating with an intoxicated lawyer. (WEBMASTER's NOTE: Considered yourself nominated "post round posthumous". Show of hands?

Snappers North 2018:(this not included in your dues).everyone on the league is invited with preference to those who attended last year ….I reserved 32 this year (last year we had 28) …. and emails went out…if you did not get the email invite see me…….

First, meet Kaygan (if that IS her real name. I wonder if any fellas have ever pointed out the fact that her name backwards spells NAG YAK (the perfect woman?). In any case we're not just nagging when we yak, CONGRATULATIONS KAYGAN!

BABE OF THE WEEK 2 (who was actually the first draft pick of the night, but hey! who's baking the donuts here?) Say hello to Sophia. Unlike Kaygan, Sophia's name backwards does not appear to be a descriptor. Or does it? A paranoid (or hopeful)person might think the letters of her name spelled backwards are an acronym for the brave new world we live in. SOPHIA backwards = Artificial Intelligence Hewlitt Packard Operating System. ROBOT BEER GIRLS!? CONGRATULATIONS SOPHIA. Even if you are just a robot.


But seriously, folks. Slow play is no joke (or is it?) Be careful out there -- and play faster - and watch your back
WEEK 5 UPDATE: May 31, 2018 (POSTED: June 6)

Okay Boys week 3 is in the books, and with it - partner #3 for Snapper (WEBMASTER's NOTE: If'n ya did something special on week 1, it will just have to be enough that you know you did it cuz it ain't here my friend, so quit squinting)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Larry Cooper and Scott Schultze each carded a cool "40"
Low Net: Tommy Boyd with "31"
Greenies 1: Tommy "the Knocker" Harrison
Greenies 2: Nick "the Beast" Savage
Team Skin: Weekly Blind Draw Skins Pot carried over $100 to start this week. Jason Carrier and partner got the draw they were looking for with a par 3 they both parred both got dings and netted a best "4" to claim the $150
5-Hole: Rick "the Rick" Bailey
Jamies Scratch Skins: There were 0. Not 0 birdies - 0 skins. They were all cut by you "dog eat dog" bastards
AOTD Winner: none deserving, none awarded

Year End Outing -(this is included in your dues) Sunday, September 9, 2018. Talking about Hawk Hollow in East Lansing.
Snappers North 2018 -(this not included in your dues) Everyone on the league is invited with preference to those who attended last year. I reserved 32 this year (last year we had 28). and emails went out... if you did not get the email invite, see me.

Be on the lookout for exemplary service for potential Majestic Beer Babe of the week nominations…feel free to take a name and a photo of a BBOW candidate and 1 or more members of your foursome and get it to me for publication in our newsletter….on our website …and/or on our facebook Snappers Golf League Group page…..

and in real golf news:
Two foursomes were reportedly involved in a golf course brawl that involved weapons and resulted in broken bones. And if you guessed this ugly incident stemmed from slow play, you guessed right. According to Birmingham Live, police responded to the fight on Friday at Greenway Hall Golf Club in Stockton Brook (England), racing onto the course in golf carts to keep things from getting worse. However, a Staffordshire Police spokesperson said "bones had been broken" by the time they got there. Four men were arrested on suspicion of assault, but weren't charged. "I'm very proud of my officers," Chief Inspector John Owen said. "They've used initiative, gone to a fight (as we always do) outnumbered, and have resolved it resulting in peace and order. Hole in one I'd say!"


Finally! Some 2018 Snapper Bites! (what's up with this so-called webmaster?)
WEEK 3 UPDATE: May 17, 2018 (POSTED: May 23)

Okay Boys week 3 is in the books, and with it - partner #3 for Snapper (WEBMASTER's NOTE: If'n ya did something special on week 1, it will just have to be enough that you know you did it cuz it ain't here my friend, so quit squinting)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Jamie Leece "41"
Low Net: Chris Johns netted a "31"
Greenies 1: Mike Romanowski
Greenies 2: Jason Carrier
Team Skin: Weekly Blind Draw Skins Pot carried over $100 to start this week. Jason Carrier and partner got the draw they were looking for with a par 3 they both parred both got dings and netted a best "4" to claim the $150
5-Hole: Bill "Pic Pic" Cape
Jamies Scratch Skins: There were 3 - Mike Romanowski took 2 and Chris Johns the other
AOTD Winner: N/A

Special thanks to Brian Babbers Babcock who came in from Kalamazoo to substitute. Way to go Chris Johns. Nice round.

Inspirational Thought of the Day: Don't Be a Dick. But if you are, please make sure someone sees it so we can get the Asshole of the Day Nominations going.


WEEK 2 UPDATE: May 10, 2018 (POSTED: May 23)

Okay Boys week 2 is in the books, and with it - partner #2 for Snapper (WEBMASTER's NOTE: If'n ya did something special on week 1, STILL NOT HERE)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Larry Cooper "41"
Low Net: Matt Murany and Jason Wolfenden each netted a "34"
Greenies 1: Mike Romanowski
Greenies 2: Chris Johns
Team Skin: Weekly Blind Draw Skins Pot carried over $100 to start this week
5-Hole: Mike Bloomfield
Jamies Scratch Skins: Dave Wolfenden - 65 smackaroonies
AOTD Winner: Got a few nominations but no winner yet. Jamie and Herb were recognized for foregoing the boat ride and driving their cart back to the clubhouse without telling anyone which caused a shortage of carts over on 10 and a boat captain scratching his head about how long he was supposed to wait for us. all of this caused our league to stand out and generate an email from the pro, but they were not the only ones.

Tonight comes SNAPPER LEAGUE DEBUT for BRIAN BABS BABCOCK out of Kalamazoo. Welcome.

And for our 1st Majestic Beer Babe of the week, for all around exemplary SERVICING OF OUR ALCOHOL NEEDS......... I give you KAYGAN!!!!!!!!!!!! (we owe you a repeat photo Kaygan as the flash ruined the original)
(WEBMASTER's NOTE: Actually, no photo availble at all since it was emailed from the course in the form of a text mail to webmaster's wife's phone since I don't have my own and we/she can't figure out how to transfer a text photo from her phone to my email so I can post here.)


Pictured: A leisurely boat ride across Lake Walden on our way back to the clubhouse side dock after the front nine at The Majestic.

May 29, 2004
I sat at a table on the beer deck checking the math on Snapper golf cards (fifty five... fifty six... fifty seven...). Fellow Snappers were swapping traffic violation stories like old sailors rolling up their pant legs and comparing shark wounds. Mister Cowan's partner, Shang, had started the subject earlier when he hired Snapper to help him with a ticket (allegedly for speeding, but Shang claims it was a wrongful citation as he was in a hurry that day). Shang became concerned and wondered aloud if he was still on Snapper's "billing clock." Snapper told Shang not to worry, as he will work for beers. Shang, here is a running legal bill (bar tab) for Snapper's services.
Shang's legal bill (in beer)


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