MAJESTIC BEER BABE OF THE WEEK
POSTED: May 15, 2012 By: Snapper

Meet JENN photographed with Naked Dave... both fully clothed (a pre photo stipulation when Jenn, a newbie to the course and unfamiliar as her sister past multiple Beer Babe of Week winner "Sara" is with our website, heard Dave's nickname).

UPDATE for Week 2 (May 10, 2012)
POSTED: May 14, 2012 By: Snapper

Snapper Bites Week #2 is in the books. Week 3 coming up and assuming you have participated in the other 2 weeks this will be the last match you will establish hndcp based upon 80% of difference in your single weekly round and par. Starting week 4 you will have a predetermined hdcp based upon the prior 3 weeks average scores combined. This will continue throughout the year using only your most recent 5 weeks scores with all prior to previous 5 weeks dropping out of the equation starting with the completion of your 6th round.

Weekly Kudos: Greenies winners were Fred Schaal and Don Savoie. The 5-hole went to Larry Cooper and team skin to team Maguffee & Thomas. Nice job guys! Low Net went to Little Timmy K, Dave Wolfenden & Paul Throesch with net "35". Low actual to Wolf & Paul Woj, as each posted "39" actual.

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, May 10, 2012:
BOBBIE MAGUFFEE for obliviously absconding from the 5th green with the flagstick in hand. So utterly exuberant was Bobbie with scoring a par on the "5 Hole" for a net Birdie, that he quickly bent over picked up the various chipping and putting utensils (9 iron, PW, GW, SW wedges and 3 putters) he had laid on the flagstick greenside... then absentmindedly picked up the flagstick, & with a "hop in his step" double timed it off the green and to his cart where he for the 1st time apparently realized there was no place in his bag for a 9 foot pole with a flag at the end. Quickly retracing the 35 yards or so from the cart back onto the green to place the stick in the cup to a chorus of angry roars and WTF's being shouted at him from the fairway by Snappers set to approach. One Snapper accused Bobbie of trying out for the aircraft carrier LSO team (Landing Signal Officer's) having missed his chance when younger, taking a medical marijuana military deferment. Another stated it looked like some kind of Navy ICS (Intl. Code of Signals) attempt to spell "Bravo- India-Romeo- Delta-India-Echo" (BIRDIE). Yet another thought Bobbie might be impersonating an overweight elderly HS Band Baton/Flag Majorette. But in truth at the end of the day all agreed that Bobbie clearly appeared next to his golf cart to have absolutely no idea why he had carried the flagstick away with him until it dawned on him as in the Sesame Street song (one of these things is not like the other).

Dishonorable mentions to CMoney & Naked Dave - good Samaritans the week prior by voluntarily putting the top up on friend Rey's convertible Jeep they knew he would not be able to do himself before the deluge of rain came down, while ignoring Rey's partner Nessie's convertible Jeep parked next to it.

Dishonorable mention also to Paul & Matt Wojo who are courteous and quiet and liked by all for insisting absolutely that they re-claim the tee box from attempted interlopers (teams Cowan/Peltier & Leece/Green) but so as to maintain their reputation and offend no one, insisting further the Little Timmy K re-claim it for them (which, being unconcerned with his reputation & "likeability", did so in due course).

Dishonorable mentions also to Rey for pounding his club into the ground repeatedly after poor shots and Paul Throesch accused of intentionally stealing a golf ball he knew did not belong to him because it had a cool logo.

MAJESTIC BEER BABE OF THE WEEK: Coming soon, assuming a successful outcome concerning a "phone photo transfer glitch".

YEAR END SCRAMBLE DINNER BOOKED AT APPLE MOUNTAIN Golf Resort (Freeland/Saginaw) on Sunday, September 9, 2012 &@; 9:30am!!!

GO SNAPPERS!!!!

WILDEBEEST SITTING IN NORTHERN MICHIGAN!
POSTED: May 14, 2012 By: Snapper

According to a reliable source, a female animal strongly resembling a Wildebeest was sited by a group of intoxicated Snappers in a local bar in Northern Michigan recently. They almost missed the extraordinary siting were it not for one (said to have an amorous glow in his eye) exclaiming: "Would ya look at the Ass on that animal?". Following are some fun facts you should know about these bizarre creatures.

Physical Description Many people find wildebeests to be odd looking creatures. They have horns and hindquarters similar to that of antelopes, yet a face, mane, and tail that look a lot like those of horses. Because of their odd physical appearance, they were called "wild beast" or, in Afrikaans, wildebeest. Wildebeests are large herbivores that look and graze similar to cows; however, they are actually related to the antelope family.

Habitat Wildebeests live in Africa. They can be found from Kenya to South Africa, living in woodlands and savannaghs and until now, never elsewhere.

Reproduction At the end of the rainy season, from the end of March through June, wildebeests begin to mate. Females, who begin to reproduce when they are but three years old, are known to mate with more than one male on many occasions, a fact apparently not unknown to our drunken "love-lorn" Snapper who saw her first and spent the next hour or so attempting unsuccessfully to garner her interest. Alas, at least there will always be this fond memory of the one that got away!!!!

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UPDATE for Week 1 (May 3, 2012)
POSTED: May 4, 2012 By: Snapper

Snapper Bites week #1 is in the books. It was to say the least interesting from the start getting so many new guys (some who had never played the course) to load up on the shuttle with their clubs, unload from shuttle at the boat dock and onto the pontoon for a "Capn Bill's Wild Ride" across Lake Waldon …off the boat & onto golf carts (carefully aligned but not too close to the water's edge by Steve "Leadfoot" Hable & round the corner looking for tee box #10 all on faith that the new league members they had never met would actually be there..haha..great job guys!....Now the easy part right?...just golf, have fun and relax, right?

Not quite. First, "Quiet on the tee please!" Snappers are preparing to go off before you? Yea, right!! New guys got a quick lesson of ooooos and aaahs, chatters & guffaws as to why it is not always good to go off first on this league. I could hear it from the boat dock as I awaited the arrival of my own partner and my drink he & Cap'n Bill were ferrying across to me. 1-2 holes in, everyone now knew that this course might be beautiful but it aint easy. Take solace guys that 10-18 is the most difficult of the three nines. 4-5 holes in and the sky were ominous to the west and only slightly north of us. If only the wicked storm pounding winds, hail and buckets of rain on our homes to the north would stay north and not change up and roll back on us we would be fine, but roll back on us it did. The 1st 3 of 7 foursomes finished the last two holes directly into 40mph winds but still dry. The rains came in buckets when the 5th group in line had only half a hole to play and the clubhouse in sight. They chose to make a run for it, assuming the two groups behind them would do likewise and the entire round would be a washout (all finish or no scores count in this league). But they didn't follow, the final 2 groups played thru and handed their completed 9 hole scorecards (each of which resembled a used handful of Bounty "the quicker picker upper") and plopped them in Snapper's hand. So foursome #5 accepted that their scores for hole 9 would be max out double pars + 1 all around and were fine with that since they were dry. Don't worry gents, any advantage to them in hndcp is minimized by our 3 weeks to establish a hdcp and subsequent 5 week moving averages thereafter where only your most recent 5 scores compute your 'cap as older scores drop off. Get it?... Don't worry about it, we got it.

Weekly Kudos :Greenies winners were Dave Wolfenden and Don Savoie. The 5-hole went to Dave Lawless and team skin to team Coop/Galaxy Ken. Nice job guys. Low Net went to Little Timmy K with a net "36". Low actual... drum roll please... Timmy K & Wolf each posted "42" actual. Pretty damn low for this night.

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, May 3, 2012:
BOOB BAUMANN, With only minor discussions at the post round gathering due to the weather, the uncompleted scorecards and games computations (thanks for your help Jamie & Herb - CMoney & I appreciate it) there was one guy who seemed to standout and in my opinion won the first AOTD award. Bob "Boob" Bauman for extreme naiveté & tolerance of the boatload of crap his new partner (who he was trying so hard to please) "Timmy K" showered upon him... first having never met each other, they were introduced on the telephone a few weeks ago and when Bob began immediately to puff out his young chest and promise Tim great victories in the league this year - as only a young guy will - Tim immediately nicknamed him "Boob" and refuses, to date, to hear him referred to otherwise, correcting anyone who addresses him as Bob (His name's Boob).

Then last week in another telephone call, Boob was instructed to bring beer. Not just any beer or any quantity but "Amstel lite" - 12 pack - cans, not bottles, or there was gonna be a problem with the team chemistry right from the start. Boob, not knowing Timmy and hearing that Snappers break the rules of golf, so they must also break the state's liquor laws and bring beer onto the course secreted in their bags - not appreciating that we do not do this, that there are beverages for sale at the course and Beer Babes delivering them to us on carts - determined to get his new partner the beer requested to get off on the right foot so to speak. "Amstel lite please, a 12 pack of cans not bottles," he exclaimed to the proprietors of the closest 6 or 7 beer stores he normally frequented. "Nah we don't have that," was the answer he got over and over. Frantically, he finally found success only to have Timmy K make him leave it in the car and show some respect to the course and Beer Babes.

But as Arlo Guthrie said, 20 minutes into his famous song: "That's not what I came here to tell you about". At the end of the round, Boob wants to exchange information with his new partner so they can call each other if late or a sub is needed. He opens his phone and begins saving Timmy's cell phone number being given to him slooooowly, digit by digit...

Timmy "TuTone" says: eiiiight... siiiix... seveen... fiiive... threeee... ohhh... nieeeeyiine. Everybody starts laughing as the most famous telephone number in the world is now saved in a bewildered Boob's phone as his partner Timmy K's contact. Rey suggested they make up a song to help him remember it…Nessie and Chris started singing Jennie Jennie and Boob now getting it lowered his head in shame and removed the number from his contacts list.

Dishonorable mentions to Herb Green who somehow managed to entangle a rope separating where you are allowed to drive your carts from where you are not allowed to drive them in both axles of the golf cart…..Jamie…a troubleshooter by nature…helped him disentangle their cart then blamed his missed putt on Herb's misadventure.

Dishonorable mention also to Timmy K for initially listening to a brand new Beer Babe we had never met, likely working her first day, who upon encountering them with the first few sprinkles of rain told them they were going to have to go straight to the clubhouse and quit since it was raining, forgetting that the clubhouse gives such directives for course closure due to weather by messaging on the gps monitor on each cart and does not authorize Beer Babes to close the course, especially on their first day on the job. Timmy began to follow the directive until he realized he was the only one and everybody else was still playing The minor delay caused the last few groups to get wet, according to Jamie.

GO SNAPPERS!! A SOGGY WEEK ONE IS IN THE BOOKS!!

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UPDATE: LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!
Know this, learn this, love this!
POSTED: May 3, 2012 By: Snapper

Weekly prizes (one golf ball each at the year end outing) are awarded to the Snapper with the low score actual, low score handicapped and Asshole of the Day. The first two awards are computable mathematically while the third is discretionary and determined by weekly nominations and majority vote in the clubhouse at the conclusion of play. Please be prepared to nominate your playing partners and/or opponents for this, our most prestigious and treasured award, the AOTD.

Weekly games $7/team each week. Chris Carlson or his designate is to be paid - four cash prizes are awarded at the end of the round as follows:

(1 & 2) Each par 3 closest to the pin Greenie

(3) 5 Hole an individual award to lowest net (after hdcp) score for the 5th hole. Those tied on 5th hole go hole by hole thereafter for low net score until ties broken (once you're out...)

(4) Team Skin This is a team low net score for a hole selected by blind draw at the end of the round. "One ties, all tie" and the skin money carries over week to week until broken.

CARD CAPTAINS Whoever keeps score please get your scorecard turned in to SNAPPER asap. Change your shoes and put your clubs away after.

Majestic Beer Babe of the week Keep your eyes open and cameras ready for extra helpful and cheerful beer cart girls.

Contact Info If you did not respond to Snapper's preseason email please fill out your contact info (whether you think I have it already or not) on the clipboard before or after the round

Dues payments: see Snapper for this also after the round is over.

Year end Outing: Included in your dues, the traditional year end outing is 1st Sat or Sun after we finish in September, this year either 9/8 or 9/9. It is a 4 man scramble of fair teams comprised of only league members and necessary fill in substitutes who were subs on the league. The intention of one last get together for the year. After the scramble we have dinner (also included in the outing) and award yearly prizes and final sheets and prize money and such (as minimal as it is). Prize money is approximately $25/man and is awarded mostly for braggin rights and beer.

The allowance I plan on fluctuates between $50 - $80/man depending on rainouts and such. I have never had to ask for additional cash for a year end although no rainout 18 week years in the past caused a downsize in the course or the meal purchased. Here is where we have been in the past:

2011 Copper Hills- Oxford,
2010 Orchards - Washington,
2009 Eagle Eye - E Lansing,
2008 Davison CC - Davison,
2007 Boulder Pointe - Oxford,
2006 Bay Valley CC - Bay City,
2005 Kimberley Oaks - St. Charles,
2004 Timbers - Frankenmuth,
2003 Fortress - Frankenmuth,
2002 Copper Ridge CC - Davison,
2001 Tyrone Hills - Fenton,
2000 Dunham Hills - Hartland,
1999 Timbers - Frankenmuth,
1998 Devils Ridge - Oxford,
1997 Majestic - Hartland,
1996 Majestic - Hartland,
1995 Sugarbush CC - Davison,
1994 IMA Brookwood - Burton,
1993 Davison CC - Davison,
1992 IMA Brookwood - Burton,
1991 Dunham Hills - Hartland,
1990 Flint Elks Club - Grand Blanc,
1989 IMA Brookwood - Burton,
1988 Grand Blanc CC - Grand Blanc

If you have a suggestion as to location or day (Sat vs Sun) bring it up and we will discuss it and I'll see what I can negotiate. One suggestion I have already is Huntmore Golf Club - Brighton.??

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TWO WEEK WARNING!
POSTED: April 18, 2012 By: DaBlade

A careful study of the ancient Mayan calendar tells us that opening night for the Snappers golf league is exactly two weeks from today (with the Earth exploding in an impressive fireball later in the year). If you haven't done so already, now would be a good time to locate the clubs in your garage and knock the dirt clods off of them.

While you wait (especially you new guys), please take this opportunity to memorize the league rules for the league entrance exam scheduled an hour prior to tee time on the beer boat.

WEBMASTER NOTE: The 2012 season is fast approaching and your league website is ready for action. Don't forget to "Like" us on Facebook, as this will allow you to post your weekly golf pictures directly there to share. Also, please find the comments box of the front page right side-bar for quick access for readers and players to begin the 2012 trashtalk. This does not replace the official Guestbook (with it's Flash-powered engine that doesn't work on my iPad), but I think I like it better for accessibility if for nothing else.

Visit the STATS page to get the 2012 Schedule. While you're there, don't forget to brush up on the handicap system (especially the new guys).

MY FELLOW SNAPPERS:
UPDATED: April 13, 2012 By: Snapper

We now have a full 14 team 28 man roster for the 2012 League season. 16 are returning league members. 12 were not on our roster last year (however 5 are familiar faces from years past as members or subs). Chris Carlson gets credit for bringing us 3, Don Savoie for bringing us 2, I will take credit for 2 and Jamie Leece (in an apparent bid to take over what has always been a Carlson league) brought us 5 and kept 1 who otherwise was out this year. Thank you guys for your help.

2012 teams:
1. Rick Carlson/Don Savoie
2. Chris Carlson/Dave Mitteer
3. Tim Kachelski/ Bob Baumann
4. Bill Cape/Dave Lawless
5. Dave Wolfenden/Steve Markunas
6. Jamie Leece/Herb Green
7. Paul Throesch/Dave Barnett
8. Paul Wojdylak/Matt Wojdylak
9. Dave Thomas/Bob Maguffee
10. Rey Farah/Jeff Nesgoda
11. Scott Cowan/Steve Peltier
12. Tim Pyeatt/Fred Schaal
13. Larry Cooper/Ken Hochstein
14. Tom Harrison/Ron Hamon

First night of golf is Thursday, May 3, 2012 @ 5:00 pm. Be there!!! It is recommended that youse new guys read our rules. Everyone please either send me some cash in advance or be ready to pay something the 1st night as I need to pay the Majestic something by then.

IN OR OUT? SHOW ME THE MONEY$ DO IT NOW!

I have recently confirmed our spot with Steve @ Majestic Golf Club 5:06 pm Thursdays. The League secretary meeting is not set. However, the 2010 weekly green fees rollback to $23/week will continue in 2012. Therefore we can hold the dues to last year's $525. Please everyone receiving this contact me via email or otherwise so I can firm up our numbers.

STARTING DATE: MAY 3, 2012
(2005 Dues were $510, 2006 $ 2007 Dues were raised to $550, 2008-2009 Dues were raised to $575, 2010-2011 Dues reduced to $525)

Here is the minimum payment schedule I would ask of you:
February 10, 2012................$ 50
March 15, 2012...................$100
April 15, 2012...................$150
May 15, 2012.....................$225
Total:...........................$525**

(As always dues includes 16-17 weeks green fees 1st thur May thru last thur before labor day + year end 4 man scramble & dinner 1st sat or sun after labor day @ a course to be selected later + prizes + $25/pp prize money)

This year we continue our adventure at the Majestic M-59 & US-23 Hartland (rotating between 3 separate nines, pontoon boat rides to and from # 10). The course has requested that 7/5/12 be excluded from league golf for the holiday weekend. Also, we know the date already of the Majestic's annual full course outing as 6/21/12. We will have league play that night but no early golf pre-league or no range balls that day, but the league ahead of us has opted out that day so we will be ready to roll when the course clears from the outing. I have reserved 24 spots for our league this year and added another tee time to our reservation.

GO SNAPPERS!!!

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Pictured: A leisurely boat ride across Lake Walden on our way back to the clubhouse side dock after the front nine at The Majestic.

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May 29, 2004
I sat at a table on the beer deck checking the math on Snapper golf cards (fifty five... fifty six... fifty seven...). Fellow Snappers were swapping traffic violation stories like old sailors rolling up their pant legs and comparing shark wounds. Mister Cowan's partner, Shang, had started the subject earlier when he hired Snapper to help him with a ticket (allegedly for speeding, but Shang claims it was a wrongful citation as he was in a hurry that day). Shang became concerned and wondered aloud if he was still on Snapper's "billing clock." Snapper told Shang not to worry, as he will work for beers. Shang, here is a running legal bill (bar tab) for Snapper's services.